When we first discovered I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. To be honest, I’m not sure why I knew that, but using formula never occurred to me. When my daughter was born, we jumped on the breastfeeding train. But we hit some bumps along the way. A huge bump – like a struggle with low supply. I remember sitting there for those first few days when we were home bawling my eyes out! My sweet little girl was losing weight – over a pound. They told me, breastfeed her, pump, feed that to her, offer her formula. This consumed my day, not to mention exhausted me! But I would do anything to get her to gain weight.
John kept telling me, it’s not a big deal. Who cares? Just give her formula. He didn’t get it! As if my hormones weren’t already off the chart, I couldn’t stop crying. I mean, how could I be a good mom if I couldn’t even make enough milk to feed my baby? This poor girl had no chance because I was failing already! That is when it really hit me – I didn’t just want to breastfeed my baby, I had to breastfeed my baby! If it didn’t work, I felt I was failing. So we nursed, and pumped and offered her formula. (more…)