When I went back to work part-time at my baby’s three month birthday, I’d hoped that he would resort to reverse cycling in order to maximize our time together. I wanted him to need me. And yes, I wanted him to make up for lost time by nursing all night long. And he did exactly as I wished. Wow, we have such a special bond. He instinctively knows how to maximize his time with me. I just can’t get enough of this baby!!
Fast forward 7 months later. I WANT TO SLEEP! I want to sleep on my back or on my stomach, instead of always sleeping on my side to give him easy access. And lately he has taken to nursing in what can only be compared to as the yoga position “down dog.” Gone are the days of me nursing him right to sleep. Nursing if often just a way for him to recharge his batteries.
Sleeping for me is this: In a 24 hour period, I get in two good naps. There is no rhyme or reason as to when those naps may happen. I often times miss the luxury of a good night’s sleep. It has been so long…
What I have come to accept is that breastfeeding is not about me. Most of my life is now about someone else’s needs and wants. I get to pick and choose what is provided for him. And I must admit that I do want to provide him with as much breastfeeding for as long and as much as he wants. He is in charge, not me. I must remember, I asked for this. This is my life. And I count my blessings as not everyone gets to have these special sorts of problems.